Author: Amy Lee-Tai

Making Space for Writing; Saying Bye to This Blog (at least for now)

Amy Lee-Tai Living Life, Raising Kids, Teaching, Writing, Writing Life , , , , , , ,

I knew this day would come. I just didn’t know when. Or why.

It’s time to say bye to this blog, at least for a while. In truth, it’s been a while already – a half-year since I last posted. Ugh. It’s with a heavy heart that I acknowledge my new reality: I simply don’t have enough time to write reflective monthly posts.

I began this adventure in March 2017. At that time, I wasn’t teaching. When this blog was one year old, I decided to seek teaching recertification, went through the recertification process, applied for jobs, and started teaching again.

Oh my goodness. I love my students! They are everything that is good and right in this world.

I’ve enjoyed blogging more than I thought possible. A place for me to slow down and regroup from life. I met my goal of posting monthly… until this past fall which I’ve deemed the busiest of my life so far.

A teaching job that increased in hours and responsibilities. Long-standing volunteer commitments. A daughter who’s a high school senior applying to colleges. Two daughters involved in so much music that they had a combined nine performances (not counting rehearsals) even before the holiday performances arrived. Below are pics from half of their performances between September and December. Great stuff; just a lot!

In the midst of everything, this blog and you, reader, were ever on my mind. Not that you were waiting with bated breath–ha!–for my posts (except maybe my mom). But still, I felt a sense of commitment.

I sighed each time I turned the calendar page. I consoled myself: I’ll blog after the school year gets rolling. After I move classrooms. After I get to know the new reading programs. After I finish report cards and parent-teacher conferences. After I hand out the high school band dresses. After my cat recuperates from surgery. After I get over that nasty head cold. After Liana submits her Early Action applications. After school pauses for the holidays. After Christmas shopping and cards are done.

After. After. After. And just like that went…

August.

September.

October. 

November.

And December.

Teaching Space: Before
Teaching Space: After
Poor Howie. He’s all better now!
Liana was rear-ended Thanksgiving weekend while waiting at a red light. She and the other driver were uninjured. So grateful! The other car was totaled.

I’ve relished this holiday break. It’s been so…

Uneventful. Quiet. And Lovely.

Wall-E and Howie

Most of all, I’ve been enjoying quality and quantity time with my family. 

Other than that, I’ve been dealing with things that have been piling up at home over the last few years. Things that I’ve had to ignore in order to get other things done; I could ignore them no longer! Like, three big bags filled with important papers that need to be shredded, recycled, or filed. Belongings that need to be thrown out, donated, or stored. Closets and cabinets that need to be cleaned out. We’ve made a decent-sized dent.

Below is a photo from 2016 of my girls’ art and science cabinet, a fixture in our kitchen since they were toddlers. Now that most of their lives have migrated to their bedrooms, we finally cleaned out this cabinet. Bittersweet, but I’m excited to have more space now for my kitchen gear! As you’ll see below, Wall-E isn’t too excited.

Woo-hoo! That was fun!
I can’t believe they got rid of all that fun stuff.

Oh, and here’s a pile of The New York Times from the fall. The growing pile had been sitting in my dining room teasing me. Now, after many glorious hours of reading, the pile is gone! So many sad stories, but just as many glimmers of hope. If I could read only one thing a day, it would be this newspaper (and you know how much I love picture books).

And I’ve made time to write – HOORAY! — which, along with blogging, I did not get to this past fall. I missed both so much.

As I’ve told Liana, whose commitments are bursting at the seams this school year: Sometimes you have to say “No” even to things you want to do. (Oh, if only we didn’t need sleep!)

Sometimes it’s hard enough for me to say “No” to things I don’t want to do (although the older I get, the easier it gets). But things I want to do? Things that bring me joy and meaning? Now. That. Is. Tough.

But I gotta do what I gotta do. So, I start this new year and new decade with some new intentions:

I’ll keep writing and pursuing publication, because not doing so is, to me, like not living. With time so tight these days, when I have some of that precious commodity, I need to write, query, and be involved in the writing world to whatever extent possible.

To that end, I’ll let some things go… including this blog–meaning that I won’t set any time goals for it. I may end up posting this summer or in a year or never again. Circumstances change and with them, so will my time and priorities. I’ll have to see how life goes. I hate to sound flaky, but I don’t feel I can make promises. In any case, this blog has been a precious experience for me.

When my younger daughter, Miya, was 11 years old, she helped come up with the name of this blog: Writing With The Heart in Mind. It’s a little cheesy, but it captures what writing means to me. Letting this blog go feels like letting a piece of my heart go.

Blogging initially felt like a leap of vulnerability for me due to its public nature. My husband, Rob, reasoned with me: “It’s not like your posts are going to end up in the mailboxes of everyone in the world.” Oh, right. People would need to subscribe, make a point to visit, or just happen upon it. Phew. With millions of websites and blogs out there, mine would be just a speck in cyberspace.

Surprisingly, this blog became for me a safe, comforting place to reflect on whatever rose to the top of my thoughts. I hope that if you’ve read any of my posts (which I’ll leave online), you’ve found some connections to your own life.

If you’ve been a subscriber, thank you for making space in your crowded email box. And thank you for taking this journey with me and for your support along the way. I appreciate it all! I plan to keep my website up and running, so feel free to reach out via my website email.

If you sense that I’m letting go of this blog kicking and screaming, YOU ARE RIGHT!

And yet, in the end, I feel lucky to have so many things that I want to do. It’s a very good problem to have.

I look forward to this coming year of…

teaching,

Returning a wonderful library book I shared with my reading students

writing,

Howie resting his head on my arm, making my task a bit more challenging!

raising kids,

Hanging with Miya in Old Town Alexandria in September 2019
Having fun with Liana before Homecoming in October 2019

and living life.

Celebrating in Richmond over Thanksgiving weekend with “Hamilton,” a highlight from our fall

I wish you

a year

a decade

a life

filled with manymanymany moments of joy and meaning.

Until we meet again,

Amy

Revisiting History: The Japanese American Incarceration

Amy Lee-Tai Uncategorized , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Since my older daughter was one year old, my family has headed to the west coast nearly every summer to gather with relatives. It’s part of the rhythm of our summer.

On our way to CA!

It makes sense for us to fly that way since my mom, my husband’s mom and brother, and one of my brothers all live within two hours of each other. My three other brothers—they live in Shanghai, Hawaii, and NYC—and I, along with our families, join the Californians somewhere on the west coast.

Most years, our reunion happens in both The Bay Area and The Central Valley. There’s always too much to do especially in San Francisco where my brothers and I spent part of our childhood. So many beautiful sights and sites, old haunts, old friends.

At Green Apple Books, just blocks from my old middle school

As usual (and expected), we managed to make just a dent in our shared wish list this summer. Most of the list contained fun, child-centered destinations and activities.

But at the top of my San Francisco list: the exhibit, Then They Came For Me: Incarceration of Japanese Americans During WWII and the Demise of Civil Liberties. It didn’t take any convincing for my family group to attend.

With my brother Pete

Along with learning more history and supporting the exhibit, we wanted to view a photo of my mom, Ibuki Hibi Lee, and her mom, artist Hisako Hibi, taken by Dorothea Lange. Dorothea Lange, hired by the War Relocation Authority (WRA), was opposed to the internment and used her photographic prowess to document the injustice.

My mom told me a fun tidbit recently–my grandmother and Dorothea Lange likely knew (of) each other from The Bay Area artist community.

In the photo, taken the day they were sent to an internment camp, my mom holds a doll. Since that fateful day 77 years ago, my mom (and for a period of time, my grandmother) kept this doll.

I’d seen this Dorothea Lange photo in various books and online sites as well as at The Topaz Museum in Delta, Utah. I appreciated the opportunity to see a larger representation of this poignant image.

What else did I want to see at the exhibit? My mom’s doll, cleaned up and sporting a newly crocheted cap. I’d seen this doll–dirty, damaged, and bandaged up from its long life–sitting in my mom’s home for years.

My mom at the opening reception
1/18/19

My mom is someone who holds on to meaningful belongings (like mother, like daughter), so I’m not surprised that she has kept this doll for the long haul. That little girl in the photo and that doll were/are connected—and it was powerful to see them juxtaposed for viewers. Together, the photo and doll tell a more complete story.

Earlier this summer, I was contacted by a student at San Francisco State University who had seen the exhibit. She was so moved by the photo and doll that she did online research and, in the process, found me and my book, A Place Where Sunflowers Grow. She reached out and interviewed me by phone for a journalism class paper. Art, books… They connect us.

There are so many pieces of art, artifacts, and photos on exhibit. So many stories filled with jaw-dropping injustice and immeasurable loss. So many opportunities for human connection. It’s hard not to feel compassion while soaking in the internment’s impact on real human beings.

Part of my family group

I, for one, walked through the exhibit shaking my head (once again) at the abomination that was the internment. I can only imagine the experience of someone learning about it for the first time.

In addition to educating the public on the Japanese American incarceration, the exhibit draws parallels with today’s current events.

As a Japanese American whose family was incarcerated at Topaz in Utah, I shudder at today’s camps along the U.S. southern border. Pardon the expression, but it’s too close to home. Once again, the government is targeting a very vulnerable group of people and dehumanizing them for its political gain.

As George Takei says in this Washington Post article, “In one core, horrifying way, this is worse.” He’s referring to the fact that the government is incarcerating children who’ve been separated from their parents. Takei added, “At least during the internment, we remained a family…”

With Rob at Lights for Liberty: A Vigil to End Human Detention Camps
7/12/19

One of my nieces who attended the exhibit is five years old, my mom’s age at the time of incarceration. A sobering thought. My niece is full of promise, so trusting of adults. What can an experience like that do to a child?

Common sense tells us. History tells us. Research tells us. The devastating immediate effects should be more than enough to put a screeching stop to the inhumanity. The lasting effects on individuals, families, and society are unfathomable. They lead to exhibits like this one.

The name of the exhibit refers to a quotation by Martin Niemöller, a German Lutheran minister, about being complicit through silence. There are various versions of the quotation; this excerpt is displayed at The United States Holocaust Memorial Museum in Washington, D.C.:

First they came for the socialists, and I did not speak out —

Because I was not a socialist.

Then they came for the trade unionists, and I did not speak out —

Because I was not a trade unionist.

Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out — 

Because I was not a Jew.

Then they came for me — and there was no one left to speak for me.

Toward the end of the heartbreaking stories on exhibit, I found a cluster of stories about people who, in some way, showed the best of humanity during the worst of times. Finding these was like finding water in the desert. They renewed my spirit and reminded me that there is always hope.

Here’s one of those stories, as described in the caption of this photo taken by Hikaru Carl Iwasaki: “Mr. and Mrs. Tarao Mori returned from Topaz to their chrysanthemum farm in Redwood City. As a gesture of friendship, local growers including Caucasians, Filipino and Chinese Americans gave them chrysanthemum cuttings without cost to reestablish their gardens. Two shippers offered to buy their entire output…”

During these very trying national times, let’s all share stories and learn from each other. Let’s all speak up and offer hope. Everyone deserves it, especially the children.

My daughters and their cousins blowing bubbles

Until we meet again,

Amy

Old Car, New Story

Amy Lee-Tai Living Life, Raising Kids , , , ,

When my husband, Rob, and I moved to Charlottesville in August of 2001, I bought a new car—a trusty Toyota Corolla.

One year later, we left the maternity unit with our first child–our daughter, Liana. We strapped her into her car seat and drove off on a new adventure with our greatest privilege–and responsibility.

Welcome home!

From the get-go, Liana seemed to have a mind of her own; she knew what she wanted.

Thinking…

As an older baby, she’d make noises while being held until we reached a certain destination. Rob and I joked that she liked us to carry her, not so much to be cuddled as to have a mode of transportation.

That way!

As for crawling and walking—this girl could not wait to go for it!

Freedom
More freedom

Liana continued along these lines, even riding a plane by herself at nine years old to visit her best friend who had moved away.

In Missouri, half a lifetime ago

Fast-forward several more years–she was eager to get her driver’s license. She reached that milestone this past fall and started to borrow—did you guess?–my Corolla.

Practicing driving on her 16th birthday

One month ago I bought a new car, and the Corolla is now Liana’s “new” car. It’s no longer fit for driving over mountains or long distances on the highway, but it’s still fine for local driving.

Yeah, it’s scratched and dented. It’s hit lots of potholes and bumps. It’s gone quite the distance. It’s not exactly a teenager’s aesthetic (or technological) dream, but she’s grateful.

Replacing the insignia that went missing years ago

That old Corolla—may it be as good to her as it’s been to me. I knew that I’d drive it for years. That’s what Rob and I do: we keep our cars. But I didn’t think I’d keep the Corolla for 18 years. Eighteen years of errands, carpools, and road trips.

On the way to North Carolina, back in the day before “real” devices
On the way to NYC with sister, Miya (left)

Eighteen years of graduations—from preschool, elementary, and middle school.

A graduation gift from her preschool teacher
5th Grade Graduation (and they’re still best friends!)
8th Grade Graduation

This coming spring, Liana is due to graduate from high school. I’m already feeling her impending departure. I’m very excited for her. And yet, I’ll miss her so much.

I often find myself thinking, “This is the last [fill in the blank].” I’m growing sentimental (even more than usual). Five for Fighting’s song, “100 Years” runs through my head: “The sun is getting high. We’re moving on.” I know, I know, but I can’t help it…

I live life, feeling both the loss and the gratitude. For me, each magnifies the other: more loss because of the gratitude; more gratitude because of the loss. But in the end, gratitude wins big time. We’re lucky that she’s able to live her life.

Can you spy the Corolla?
(Photo Credit: ReThreads)

For much of Liana’s childhood, it may have looked as though I were in the driver’s seat, but really, I’ve just been a guide.

In San Francisco to see Grandma
Pulling her share

I trust that Liana will continue to make good choices, to define success on her own terms, to live her best life. And I wish her all the luck in the world as she continues on her adventure, with greater privilege—and responsibility. I can’t wait to see where she takes herself.

On the way to NYC
On the way to VA

One thing’s for sure: This girl is going places.

And wherever she goes… may she always see the wonder in the world.

At Wrightsville Beach
On the Appalachian Trail

Until we meet again,

Amy

Listen to the Birds: Do the Best You Can

Amy Lee-Tai Living Life , ,
April 2017

Two Aprils ago, I blogged about a momma and poppa House Finch who built a nest on my front door wreath. I had the privilege and joy of witnessing the various stages of their nest and babies’ development–from the first few twigs in late March to an empty nest in early May. Awe-inspiring!

A pair of House Finches—I assume the same pair—went through the same process in the same place last spring. Repeat visitors! I guess they were happy with the way things had gone the previous year. I sure was happy to see them and their new sweet brood.

This past March, I was behind schedule. I hadn’t yet put up the spring daffodil wreath. On the door still hung the white flower wreath, the “filler wreath” between the holiday pine wreath and the daffodil one.

When I heard that familiar sound on the other side of the front door—that dainty scratching of twigs against the door during nest building—I knew the birds were back. Yay!

Later that day, I took a peek at the beginnings of the nest. And I worried. The base of the white flower wreath wasn’t as wide as that of the daffodil wreath. Would the white wreath provide enough support?

I thought about switching it out with the daffodil wreath, but I didn’t want to throw away the birds’ hard work. So I left up the white wreath. (Yes, this decision would continue to haunt me.)

Over the next week, a beautiful nest appeared. I still worried. Not only was the white wreath not as wide, but the birds had placed the nest somewhat off-center from the top. In addition, the outer layers of the nest didn’t appear as tightly constructed as the two in the past. This nest was lovely in its wispy way, but would it be sturdy enough?

The first egg appeared! I still worried. I asked my handy husband, Rob, to build something to support the nest.

His reaction? “It’s best not to mess with nature.”

I couldn’t bear the thought of the eggs/baby birds falling from the nest. Rob reconsidered and added cardboard and plastic below the nest. It looked comical. I felt better. But I still worried.

Four more eggs joined the first one. Momma bird sat atop the nest, warming and protecting her eggs. Poppa bird watched vigilantly from a nearby tree branch.

The five eggs were replaced by five baby birds! Momma and Poppa tended to them faithfully.

But as the babies grew, the weight turned the wreath a bit counterclockwise. I moved the wreath back to its original place. It was time for more intervention! I taped the wreath to the door (knowing that the tape would pull off the paint, but who cared at that point?). It looked even more comical. I felt better. But I still worried.

Then one day, I pulled into the driveway after work and found this sad sight:

The nest had come undone. I ran to the door. There was no sign of the birds. Except for a trail of poop that increased near the base of a nearby column.

Could it be? Could the babies have scurried underneath the column? Were they hiding there?

If the babies were there, I didn’t want to scare them. So I left and didn’t return.

I felt awful. And I still worried. I regretted not having switched out the white flower wreath with the daffodil wreath. I wondered if I shouldn’t have pressed Rob to build that cardboard and plastic contraption, or if I shouldn’t have taped the wreath to the door. I wished I had laid down soft padding in case of a fall…

But soon, I saw Momma and Poppa hanging around the base of the column! Chattering away. Momma poking her beak underneath the column, presumably delivering food. The babies had to be there!

Can you spy Poppa amidst all of that brick and moss?
Can you spy Momma sitting on a nearby branch?

For a week or so, I saw and heard Momma and Poppa every day. The poop oozed out from underneath the column—a great sign! I don’t think I ever felt so happy to see poop.

Ah, those smart, resilient, devoted birds. They amazed me.

But then one day, Momma and Poppa didn’t return. Rob looked under the column. No sign of the babies, either.

Maybe it was their time to fly away! At the same time, I worried: maybe something horrible had happened to the babies.

I’ll never know if there was a happy ending; there’s a lack of closure. But that’s life: sometimes, it’s messy. On top of all of that, I wonder at once if I made the process worse and if I’m assuming too much blame.

The previous two years, the birds’ journey was downright inspiring to witness. This year, my awe was mixed with stress, because of the family’s bumpy road and the babies’ uncertain “ending.”

And yet, watching the family handle their incredible obstacles was inspiring in a different sort of way: They did their best with what they had.

Another takeaway: I’ll put up that daffodil wreath way earlier next spring. It’ll be waiting for Momma and Poppa. I hope they return! And I sure hope their babies made it safely into the world this spring.

Until we meet again,

Amy

Interview with Literary Agent, Jen Chen Tran

Amy Lee-Tai Agent Interview , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Jen Chen Tran

Jen Chen Tran caught my attention when she asked a question during a panel discussion at the Virginia Festival of the Book in 2014. She looked and sounded so approachable that I decided to introduce myself after the panel. I’m very glad that I did!

At that time, Jen had her own literary agency in New York City. Since then, she moved to Northern California and is currently an agent at Bradford Literary Agency. It’s been a pleasure to keep in-touch and watch her career grow. I’m excited to host her on my blog today!

After dinner in Northern CA in August 2018

Amy: Welcome, Jen! Thank you for making the time to be here.

You hold both a B.A. in English Literature and a J.D. That sounds like a winning combination for an agent. How has your educational and professional background benefitted you as an agent and hence your clients?

Jen: I have always been an avid reader, and I think my background as an English major really helps me see both the artistry and mechanics behind writing. I consider myself an editorial agent and read widely, which helps inform my work with my clients.

You might be surprised to hear this, but quite a few literary agents started out as attorneys. There’s definitely a lot of overlap in terms of transferable skills, one of which is being a stalwart advocate for your clients. I am licensed to practice law in New York (and soon to be licensed to practice law in California–I passed that beast of an exam!), and I have helped review the occasional publishing contract for non-clients.

Amy: How did you find your way to agenting? What makes you stay?

Jen: It’s a long story, but basically I graduated law school in 2008 at the height of the recession. I wanted to be a government attorney, but most government agencies weren’t hiring and law firms were imploding left and right.

I did practice for a few years but found that my heart wasn’t in it. I’ve had some health issues that really made me evaluate what my strengths are and what I’m passionate about. I think it’s so important to find meaningful work since we spend most of our days working.

A few years after I graduated from law school, an opportunity from The New Press materialized–they were looking for a volunteer Of Counsel. After a successful interview, I was brought on board to help the press with their permissions, contracts, and some related publicity efforts.

That’s when I started liaising with literary agents and learned through the grapevine that one of them went to my law school. I was able to intern for this agent and his agency as well and started my own agency shortly after.

When I moved to California almost five years ago, I joined a West Coast agency, then in late 2017 moved to Bradford Literary. I am truly passionate about what I do. I love my clients, I love the written word, and I love stories. It is truly a privilege and an honor to be able to make a living as an agent. I am grateful.

I love my clients, I love the written word, and I love stories. It is truly a privilege and an honor to be able to make a living as an agent. I am grateful.” — Jen Chen Tran

Amy: How would you describe your agenting style?

Jen: First and foremost, I am a champion for my authors. I see myself as a problem-solver and creative thinker. I help my client get to the “next level” and reach their goals as an author. I’m very collaborative and try to be transparent about the process, whether that means sharing my pitch list with my client, or working on a pitch letter together.

I truly appreciate the trust that each one of my clients places in me, and I work hard to get my client what she or he deserves. I try to be extremely communicative and responsive–I’m known to text or e-mail my authors often!

Amy: How do you know when it’s time to offer representation to a writer?

Jen: For fiction, when I can’t stop reading the manuscript and am absolutely enthralled by the voice and the characters. Sense of place is also really important to me. For me, it’s either there or it’s not. A lot of the time I rely on my instincts–I have to have a visceral reaction, an emotional reaction, when I’m reading fiction.

For non-fiction, it’s a little different. If I feel that the author is an expert in his or her field, is truly passionate about what he or she does, has a message, wants to change the world, and/or wants to share entertaining information, then I’m interested. But all of these elements have to come together in a persuasive way. I’m looking for cohesion and clarity for non-fiction projects.

If our goals align, then I am more likely to offer representation. I also take the long view. Ideally, I’d like to work with the author over the course of her career and not just for one book.

Amy: What would you like to see more of in your inbox?

Jen: I’m a huge foodie, so I’d like to see more unique cookbooks in my inbox. I’m also trying to grow my list in terms of visually-driven and graphic projects, meaning graphic novels (for adult, YA, and MG) and guided journals.

I also would love to see more fiction written by underrepresented minorities and marginalized people. Publishing, as an industry, is still very homogeneous, but the world around us is not. I want to contribute to diversifying the written word, so it’s important to me to represent diverse clients.

I also would love to see more fiction written by underrepresented minorities and marginalized people. Publishing, as an industry, is still very homogeneous, but the world around us is not. I want to contribute to diversifying the written word, so it’s important to me to represent diverse clients. ” — Jen Chen Tran

Amy: You represent an eclectic range of genres including non-fiction, women’s fiction, graphic novels, and select YA and middle grade novels. How do you keep up with that range in the industry?

Jen: Good question! I’m a Gemini so I have a lot of interests. I’ve never been the type of agent who believes you should specialize in one area. I think that’s the beauty of being an agent–building your own list and not necessarily having to specialize.

It is a challenge to keep up with industry changes, and there are days when I think I should just do one type of book. But because I am so passionate and interested in a variety of topics, I think, why limit myself?

I read widely across genres and that helps. I do try to talk to as many editors in the areas that I represent so I know what the editors are looking for. It’s a challenge and I love being challenged! 

Amy: What are some books in your to-be-read pile?

Jen: Too many. I have a variety of graphic novels (MG and YA) such as Glitch by Sarah Graley, on my list. I also am trying to read more contemporary fiction–both literary and commercial. Normal People by Sally Rooney is on my list. I also read non-fiction, multiple books, at a time. I’ve been making my way through Bad Blood by Jon Carreyrou. 

Amy: Thank you, Jen! Best wishes to you and all of your lucky clients.

If you’d like to get to know Jen more and/or you’d like to query her, visit her at Bradford Literary Agency.

Until we meet again,

Amy

Social Media: To Show Up Or Not Show Up?

Amy Lee-Tai Teaching Life, Writing Life ,

As many of my friends know, I came late to the social media party–joining Facebook in spring of 2016 and Instagram in spring of 2017.

I had stayed away for so many reasons. I felt busy enough. I remained in touch with friends in other ways. I’m a private person, preferring to share my personal life with close friends. And so on. Social media just didn’t seem like the best match for me.

But I’d heard that it’s pretty much a must for writers to maintain some kind of social media presence. I took the plunge!

******

What has my experience been in the intervening three years?

At first I felt like I’d landed in a whole new world.

So much news and information (not all true, as we know!). Humor. Interesting tidbits. Wow, I’d been living without all of this?

I connected with friends in the writing world. Made new writing connections. Reconnected with long-lost childhood friends, former colleagues and students, and my kids’ former teachers.

It was fun!

******

However, as soon as I joined Facebook, I found myself reading fewer books. Reading the newspaper less often and less thoroughly. Even writing less often. These had filled my cup for a long, long time.

I tried to “keep up” on social media and headed to bed later. I grappled with what to post, how often to post, and how much to share. I wanted to show up for all of my friends (impossible!).

I also felt as if a switch had turned on (or off) in my brain. Whereas I had never had concentration issues, I suddenly needed to make an effort to not become distracted.

I turned off notifications on my phone and on my laptop. I limited my time on social media. But still, it took up plenty of room in my life and in my head.

******

When I made the decision one year ago this month to get recertified as a teacher, I simply had less time to be on social media. When I took a teaching job this past fall, I had even less.

I just haven’t been able to be on social media as often. Period.

When I’m not teaching, I write. I consider it my other job.

When I have down time, I find that the speed and intensity of social media often doesn’t call me. Teaching is already fast-paced and intense.

You know what calls me?

More writing. Blogging. Reading. Taking walks. Meeting a friend for coffee. Because these things are quiet. They feel soothing. And that’s what I need to restore my energy for myself, my family, and my students.

I’ve got to give them my best. Look at what my students give me:

******

Most days, I pop on to my social media accounts to check my notifications. I respond to comments, then maybe make a quick post and/or check my newsfeed for a few minutes.

I wonder what I’ve missed. It bothers me to know that I’ve undoubtedly missed wishing someone a happy birthday or cheering someone on or sending someone a condolence. Or sharing something that my friends would appreciate. They’ve got lots of other friends, I tell myself. It’s fine!

But still, it nags. It’s less from a fear of missing out (FOMO), and more from a desire to show up (DTSU?) for my friends and a desire to take part (DTTP?) in the community.

Should I just delete my accounts? Well, my writing dream lives on. And beyond that, I still enjoy the interactions and information.

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So for now, I’ll continue to balance life as best I can — and live with the unsettled feeling that comes with not showing up even when I want to. I’ll do so when I can! See you there… or here… or in person…

Happy Spring! I plan to enjoy the quiet moments that come my way.

An egg in the nest on my front door wreath

Until we meet again,

Amy

What’s on Your Shopping List? How About Some… Inspiration?

Amy Lee-Tai Living Life, Teaching , , ,

As the old saying goes, you never know when or where inspiration will strike. Earlier this week, it struck me at… PetSmart.

Not inspiration for a book idea. Or inspiration to adopt another cat (although I pretty much feel the urge whenever I see a homeless kitty). It was more like inspiration, along with affirmation, to keep doing what I’m doing.

Vague? It’s because what I took away was a generalized feeling; it wasn’t about doing any one particular thing. Another reason for the vagueness? Well, I hope to keep you reading!

So. I was in the check-out line at PetSmart chatting with the woman in front of me. For the sake of this post, I’ll call her Susan. Susan mentioned having a severely autistic son and we were discussing her frustration with some of his current and prior services. At some point, I mentioned being a teacher.

She said that the very best years of her son’s education were in elementary school. Susan asked where I taught and when I told her, she lit up. Big. Time.

Guess which school he had attended? You got it! Her son (and daughter) went to the same public elementary school where I now teach.

The view from my school

Susan gushed with warm, funny stories about her son’s experiences at the school. Her stories reflected his great sense of comfort and belonging with his peers, the faculty, and the administration.

Although I just joined the faculty this year and had nothing to do with her son’s experiences, the three adults that Susan mentioned still work at my school; and it made me even prouder to be their colleague.

More than anything, I felt such joy for Susan’s son. It was clear from what she relayed that his positive elementary school experiences still bolster him (and her!). That’s what I want for all kids — for school to be a source of strength.

If that wasn’t enough for me to get the warm fuzzies, Susan told me about her now college-aged daughter. In an essay for a course, her daughter, who is white, discussed how the high degree of diversity at her former elementary school has benefitted her as a person.

This woman’s takeaway from elementary school means the world to me. I believe deeply that interacting with people from various backgrounds is one of the most valuable things about school; and is one of the most promising ways for us to work toward understanding and peace in our world.

And here’s my general takeaway from my chat with Susan, something I’ve long believed as a teacher, writer, mom, and person: If we go with our gut and trust our process, which can sometimes be difficult to implement, good things come of it – and sometimes we don’t know what those things are until far down the road. Often we never find out (and that’s okay).

I told you — vague! But this “feeling” or way of living has helped guide me. And it was lovely to see it play out, albeit through other people.

I let my three colleagues know about my encounter with Susan. It felt like a rare and deep honor – confirming for them that the seeds they had planted years ago had blossomed in Susan’s children. My colleagues were delighted to hear it.

Daffodils in my yard from 366 days ago today; they’re on the verge of blooming again today.

This is why most teachers teach (and why most children’s writers write). Despite how challenging our work may be at times, we love kids and want to make some kind of positive difference in their lives — today and tomorrow.

Little did I know when I raced into PetSmart to pick up cat food that I’d leave with that happy message to deliver to my colleagues. And with all that inspiration and affirmation for me to keep plugging along.

Hey, next time you head into a store, keep your eyes and ears open. You never know what else you may pick up along with the items on your shopping list!

Until we meet again,

Amy

Want to Write Children’s Books? Study The Craft and The Business

Amy Lee-Tai Writing, Writing Life , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Photo Credit: Susan Yin via Upsplash

Recently, my friend Greg emailed me asking for feedback on his first picture book manuscripts. In addition to specific manuscript feedback, I offered him general thoughts on getting started in the children’s book industry. I wanted to save my friend some time and energy. And maybe some headaches and heartache, too.

Turns out that Greg appreciated my thoughts. And then it dawned on me: If you’re beginning to write children’s books with the goal of seeking publication (or contemplating doing so), you might appreciate my thoughts, too.

As I was working on this post, it became clear that my email to Greg could become the basis for at least two posts: studying the craft and the business; and writing and submitting manuscripts. For this post, I’ll focus on the former.

My suggestions are by no means exhaustive. They’re just a start. After all, there are whole books on this subject! Still, my list is quite a bit to tackle. So choose a thing or two and go from there.

My suggestions are also not original or esoteric. (And yet someone else might send you off in a different direction.) These just happen to be steps that I’ve taken. I’m still working away and hoping they’ll pan out!

A neat thing: You can do a lot of learning for free (with your feet up and while sipping on a cup of coffee or tea or whatever suits your style).

via GIPHY

Read and study lots and lots and lots of current books. Did I say lots? Hang out at B&N and read what’s on their “featured” tables and shelves. Ask the children’s bookseller for recs that fit the kind of books you’re writing and attempting to publish. Ask your local children’s librarian. Head to the “new” section at your library for recently published and/or acquired books. Find popular and recommended books online and locate them at your library. Mine offers an online hold service which I utilize often, maybe too often for busy librarians, but I sure do appreciate it. Put that library card to good use!

Google away! Google can give you an education. One website, blog, podcast, etc. will lead to other links that will increase your knowledge of craft and business. Of course, not all of the info is current or worthy, but much of it is. You’ll figure out the difference.

Subscribe to free e-newsletters, blogs, etc. There are so many good ones out there that you’ll need to be choosy! If you oversubscribe, just unsubscribe. If you wish you hadn’t, re-subscribe. No biggie, either way. When these pile up in my inbox, I steal an hour here or there to catch up. I relish the time and info! Here are several that I subscribe to:A

Children’s Book Council

Jane Friedman

KIDLIT411

Lee & Low Books

Picture Book Builders

Publishers Weekly Children’s BookShelf

Sub It Club

We Need Diverse Books

Writing for Kids (While Raising Them)

Join social media. You don’t have to live there and you don’t have to be on every platform. After all, you need to write! And do the dishes and laundry and… To start, choose a platform that appeals to you, somewhere you think you can show up regularly. You’ll make connections, learn about opportunities, and yes, even learn about craft and business. Some of the above links also have Facebook Groups that you can join. I avoided social media for years; now I miss it when life gets too busy for me to show up.

Join a Critique Group. You’ll gain a lot: accountability, feedback, camaraderie, and support. It’s par for the course to deal with rejections and self-doubt as well as plenty of alone time. So it’s helpful to have some peeps who get the journey and keep you company (and commiserate and celebrate with you) along the way. Here’s an interview with my critique group.

Take classes and workshops at your local writing organization. If you’re lucky enough to have a local writing organization, check out their website for offerings. I met my critique group at a local workshop at WriterHouse. If you can’t afford a class or workshop, keep an eye out for free events like author readings and social get-togethers.

Join SCBWI (Society of Children’s Book Writers and Illustrators). If there’s only one thing you can afford to spend money on in order to further your writing life, choose this! It’s the biggest and most reputable professional kidlit organization nationally and internationally. The first year fee is $95 ($80 to renew) and grants you access to invaluable resources. There’s a place for any writer there, from beginner on. Here’s a blog post I wrote about the SCBWI Mid-Atlantic Conference.

Those last four suggestions go beyond studying the craft and business to making connections. Get involved with others in the kidlit community to whatever extent you’re able. It’s a big, vibrant community filled with writers, illustrators, editors, agents, reviewers, librarians, booksellers, and readers. Connections are key in kidlit, and the neat thing is, most people in it are very nice. They love writing and reading, just like you. I think it’s safe to say that most of them also love kids.

If you decide to go for it, congratulations on that first step! Truly. You’re pursuing a dream and that takes courage. Your journey will have ups and downs, as all journeys do. Every now and then, take stock of where you’ve been and where you want to go. Each step counts and is cause for celebration.

via GIPHY

It’s helpful to go in, from the very start, thinking long-term. It takes time to develop craft, understand the business, and make connections. And yes, to earn some income. Patience and persistence will be your best friends throughout the process (for me, it’s also coffee and chocolate).

Goodness knows, I’m still very much learning and finding my way through this wonderful world. There are so many steps I’d like to take including reading more books on craft, taking an online class, and attending a national SCBWI conference. One step at a time. The journey is endless which I love; it means that the learning is endless, too.

And to state the obvious: write. While everything else counts, it’s the writing that will teach us the most.

Oh! And have fun along the way.

Until we meet again,

Amy

Hey! Look Up: A New Year’s Perspective

Amy Lee-Tai Living Life , , ,
My older daughter as a preschooler

When my girls were younger, they added a magic to our household during Christmas. Their belief. Their joy. Their innocence.

Now that they’re teenagers, they add a different kind of magic. They carry on our holiday traditions: decorating the tree, baking the homemade cookies, making the holiday cards.

Part of the magic is watching them grow up into thoughtful, capable individuals. The other part is… I get to put my feet up!

A bit. Mostly, their contributions free me up to do other stuff. This year, Christmas passed by before I made photo cards; my older daughter volunteered to make New Year’s cards, as she had last year. Yes, please!

I scrolled through my photos from 2018, searching for ones to text her. I noticed a theme across many of them (not the ones I sent her, but my photos in general): Things Above My Head (literally, not figuratively). I know — it’s an odd theme, but stay with me.

Yes, I’m short, so a lot of things are simply higher up than I am! But I got to thinking… I do tend to look up. Like, I literally look up. Even when I don’t have to.

I unknowingly took a selfie, 8/15/18

It had dawned on me a while ago that I look up, often, while walking in my neighborhood. The tall trees and the big sky are a pretty sight. But there’s also something about looking up that fills me with hope and possibility.

And makes me believe. Like a little kid during Christmas. That thing that I’m looking up at — whatever it is, even if it’s a small bird — seems big in spirit. Magical, really.

On a walk, 2/24/18

On a walk, 2/26/18

It wasn’t until my daughter prompted me to look back at my 2018 photos that I noticed my upward gaze. During the first three days of holiday break, I looked up at three different sights — each cheerful in its own way:

On a walk, 12/20/18

While Christmas shopping, 12/21/18
“Somewhere Over the Strip Mall”

On a walk, 12/22/18

Here are a couple of other things that I looked up to in 2018. These still speak volumes to me given the plight of our nation and world:

On the Downtown Mall in Charlottesville, 6/25/18

At O’Hare International Airport in Chicago, 8/3/18

As for 2019, I’ll just keep looking up. 2018 went by in a flash, and I want to make the most out of this one, too.

At the Virginia Museum of Fine Arts, 1/15/18

Happy New Year! May yours be filled with inspiring sights, no matter which way you look.

Until we meet again,

Amy

Writing, Teaching, and Momming: Living Three Dreams, Connected by Kids

Amy Lee-Tai Raising Kids, Teaching, Writing

Photo via Visualhunt.com

The day after Donald Trump was elected President on 11/8/16, America woke up to a country on the verge of a seismic shift. The next four years would bring earth-shattering change.

No. Doubt. About. It.

For many Americans — the majority, according to the popular vote — this news was shocking and devastating. Was I devastated? Yes. Was I shocked? No. Had I continued to live in my liberal bubbles of Brooklyn, Boston, and San Francisco, I probably would’ve been shocked.

But I had spent the previous 15 years living in Central Virginia which had vastly changed my view of America. On the one hand, it had challenged some stereotypes I had held of the South — partly because I’d been living in another liberal bubble, Charlottesville. This college town had shown me, first-hand, many fiercely inclusive individuals and groups.

On the other hand, it had shown me, up close and personal, a side of America that had not before been part of my Northern urban experience. Like Confederate flags waving proudly from cars rolling down the highway I take daily.

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So, that fateful morning, when I broke the news to my younger daughter, then eleven years old, she said matter-of-factly, “Well, there goes America as we know it.” She paused for a few seconds. “You know, Obama is the only President I’ve ever known.”

And that gave me pause. I felt a seismic shift within myself.

I hadn’t considered that fact. She was three years old when Barack Obama was elected. Then, as a first grader, she heard him speak in Charlottesville on his re-election campaign tour. Yeah. She had spent her preschool and elementary school years growing up in a country where the man who occupied the White House was a person of color. A highly intelligent and compassionate man who loves people including, and perhaps most of all, kids.

She, too, felt the loss and a concern for America.

Waiting on a very hot day — one hour for tickets, then another 1.5 hours before hearing President Obama speak. Miya was a trooper — and excited!

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Once upon a time, becoming a reading teacher to kids had been a dream. And it came true. As two educators, my husband and I moved from Brooklyn to Charlottesville to buy a house and start a family. At the age of 35 years old, I left the classroom and stayed home with our girls, my next dream realized. I stayed busy taking care of the girls and the house, volunteering at their elementary school, and working on my first picture book. When it came time to commit to a career in 2014, I chose writing for kids — yet another dream.

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When I woke up on 11/9/16, writing was still front and center. I was only 2.5 years into it, had just launched my website eight months prior, and hadn’t yet started submitting manuscripts. But suddenly, writing didn’t feel like enough.

Kids had long been at the heart of my goals, but now I felt a deep sense of urgency to be with kids — literally.

I was working hard at writing. Despite the blood, sweat, and tears, I was loving it. Yet the longer I worked at it, the more I realized that it would take a long time to publish another book… and to reach kids (and frankly, to also earn income — but that’s another blog post).

And each day that Trump continued in office as President, I sat in front of my computer screen in horror as kids were suffering at the hands of his administration. Economically disadvantaged kids. Kids of color. LGBT+ kids. Migrant kids. Kids seeking political asylum.

KIDS!

This is not to say that life had been perfect for them before — far from it — but this was a whole different ballgame. I felt helpless and, like so many other Americans, wanted to do something that would make an immediate and continuous impact.

Well, there goes America as we know it,” said my then eleven-year-old daughter. She paused for a few seconds. “You know, Obama is the only President I’ve ever known.”

******

If I had multiple published books and others under contract, I’d have continued full steam ahead. I’d be reaching kids (and earning an income), as are many children’s authors with their books and school visits. I admire and applaud their hard-won achievements and continued efforts.

While chasing my writing dream, another dream re-emerged. Without letting go of writing, I found myself wanting to step back into teaching. I pursued my recertification in VA and applied for part-time jobs. On 11/7/18, nearly two years to the date when Trump became President, I started a job as a reading teacher at a highly diverse elementary school.

It feels right to be back with kids. And to be in a community with adults who are working, day in and day out, on behalf of kids. Each morning I fill up with hope and see the possibility for a better America when I walk through the school doors.

I’m making my way back into the classroom and learning alongside my students every day. I’m eager to help them gain skills to become better readers and writers. Just as much, I hope they’ll know that I’m on their side.

Getting to know my students, as they share favorite authors and books

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Especially during this transition time, I’ve had to pace back from writing. I miss it, like I missed being with kids. I’m lucky to be able to work part-time and continue to write; I’ll do so as long as my family can afford it. Regardless, I’ll always find a way to write.

I’ve been working on a historical fiction picture book manuscript, off and on, for 1.5 years. I’ve taken it as far as I can and will be submitting it soon. Fingers crossed! Then I’ll be returning to a picture book biography manuscript that I set aside last month. Can’t wait!

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We can carry multiple dreams in our hearts. They don’t die. They just need to be patient until it’s their turn again. Sometimes it takes a seismic shift, sometimes not.

I’m very lucky that I can pursue two dreams: teaching and writing. Wait, make that three: being a mom. Teaching, writing, and momming – for me, that’s the stuff that dreams are made of. They bring challenges, including the challenge of juggling it all, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

My new classroom, filled with books!

Until we meet again,

Amy